weight loss bloggin'
Monday, Jan. 12, 2009 - 9:33 p.m.

Oh sigh. It's been ages.

I can't believe it's 2009. And I just turned 30 years old.

Well I was thinking about restarting this blog up as a weight loss outlet. I actually have another blog that I rarely use, but who wants to read about weight loss and stuff if you're not into it? So I guess this will be it. Here's the beginning of my story.

Well, for New Year's 2008, I decided to not make a resolution to lose weight as always. It was to write more letters. I started to write letters and that died down in April.

Right about that time, I was in Naperville, IL at as mall book shop. I was miserable. It was chilly. I was at my highest weight ever - 260 pounds. My husband was broswing the history section and I just wanted to get outta there. I looked up and from across the room I saw a white hardcover book on the "new releases" shelf. On the cover was Bob Harper, one of the trainers from the show The Biggest Loser. The book called to me. I didn't really watch the show, but it was nice to see the changes in the people. I didn't like it because it's unrealistic to exercise 8 hours a day and lose 20-25 pounds in a week. Nor is it really healthy. I always did like Bob's way of training and how he gets into the emotion of it all.

But I picked up the book anyway and opened the cover. And there was Bob's autograph. And I knew I had to buy that book. Just because he touched it himself. And I knew he could help me.

I started reading the book immediately when we got home from our trip. The book is in three segments. The first is about emotions and self image. The second is basically food, and the third section is exercise.

Now come on - seriously - all of us who have to lose weight...we pretty much know what we should/shouldn't eat. We know that we need to burn more calories than we consume. But the first section of the book spoke to me. It told me how negative I was toward myself. It told me that I was never really in the "diet" game for the long haul. No pill, diet plan or form of starvation is going to last a lifetime. Not for me. I had to do a few things.

1) Realize exactly HOW MUCH I weighed. I was 260 pounds. This is the far cry of the 160 that I used to be/need to be. I couldn't just let that be OK. I let it be OK.

2) I had to realize that I need to look at my own eating style/patterns/habits and find a way for me to still feel like I have freedom and am being myself. Let's face it - for many of us, food is a way of living. It's heritage, it's family, it's celebration. It's like a hobby, and it's what makes us happy. And that's okay. But there are limits.

3) Because of my food/eating style, I know that I can't lose weight with changing my food style. I have to learn what to eat, eat what I want in moderation, and EXERCISE. I will never, ever be able to live a sedentary life that I was living before. I was athletic in my youth, I have a lot of muscle, and I need to stay active. This year, next year, for the next 50 years....even after I hit a goal weight...I had to realize that exercise has GOT to be a part of my life just like brushing my teeth.

I followed most of the psychological execises in the book. They were hard to come to terms with. I realized what a negative self image I had. And the only way I could change that was to like myself, and take care of myself. I have no kids...but my cats - I take care of them. I give them love, I pet them, I talk kindly to them and comb them. Many people are the same way with their kids, their plants, their cars...we need to do the same for ourselves.

I have been a member of a gym for years, but obviously it wasn't a place for me. I joined a new gym. I was very hesitant, feeling like the "fat girl" that everyone was watching. But I started doing elliptical machine. Since then, I haven't stopped going 5-6 days per week. It's "my time" of the day to challenge myself and sweat and feel good.

Food wise, I am not following a diet plan. I can't do it. I love food. All kinds of food. I have felt horribly denied by eating Nutri-system food...ew, food from a box?! And I've felt so chained down eating foods from a list or counting points - Weight Watchers. I eat what I want to eat. I learn to not stuff myself. I eat several times a day so I never feel hungry. I munch on almonds, soy joy bars, Fiber One bars, mandarin oranges. My meals are just normal stuff, steak, salads, chicken, etc. I just don't eat till I'm crazy full. I have potato chips sometimes, yesterday I had Oreos. Just not 10 of them at one time.

So the gist of it all is that I have gone from 260 pounds to 216 since May. Nine months, 44 punds gone, about 4.8 pounds per month. I'll take it, damnit.

So I just want to have a space here to vent. Or be happy. But it will be all things weight loss.

Last weekend, I decided to ramp things up a bit. I took a Les Mills Bodypump class on Saturday and I'm sore as hell. I'm going to try to take this 2 times a week in addition to my daily hour of cardio.

That's it for today.